i had a parent hang up on me today and it hurt. it has been a stressful two weeks back at school since spring break, to say the least. let me back up and explain the situation. all second graders in our school system take two standardized tests in january. these tests are mainly in place to determine which students qualify for the academically gifted and highly academically gifted programs.
the test scores came back last week = my job has been miserable ever since.
i spent 80% of my time last week composing letters to every single second grade parent to inform them of their child's test scores. i'll try not to bore you too much with the details, but you should know that there are not just two letters (qualified and did not qualify). instead, there are multiple letters depending on the situation (qualified for AG, qualified for a retest for AG, did not qualify for a retest for AG, qualified for HAG, qualified for a retest for HAG, student was absent for one test, student was absent for both tests, and finally spanish verisions of all). all 160 odd letters were supposed to go home on friday.
my only saving grace was that when i got to school monday morning, the phone lines were dead due to high winds and heavy rains. ok, check that, maybe that was not a saving grace after all. parents decided to come to school to "discuss" the results instead. (side note: if you are a parent, please help me understand why you feel the right to come to school at any given point in a school day demanding to talk to your child's teacher or counselor or principal? would you do this in anyone else's line of work?) nevertheless, i made it through monday staying at school until 5:30 (we can leave at 3) listening to parents talk my ears off about this testing.
ok, let me check myself once more, after what happened today i've decided i would rather talk to parents face to face than on the phone. here's what happened today: this morning i had a parent call because she did not understand my letter (child did not qualify for retesting). as i always do, i let the parent know that the process is confusing, but i will do my best to explain it. i tell her about the difference between aptitude and achievement scores. i assure her that it is JUST A TEST and may not accurately measure the child's true ability. i tell her that there are many things that my effect the child's test scores and that she may be doing very well in the classroom. mom proceeds to yell and then hang up on me. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?! yes, she flat out hung up on me! i sat there dumbfounded. then i tried to call back. of course, the phone number i have has been disconnected.
now, in graduate school i was taught a very important lesson that i try to remember when working with parents (unfortunately i am reminded of this lesson on a daily basis). it is best to let the parent climb mad mountain while you follow along with them (listening and validating their feelings). then you help them ride slowly back down that mountain. today i felt like i rode the mountain to the top and was pushed off the cliff. this particular parent is probably still hanging out up there, hopefully breathing a few breaths of fresh air. i am at the bottom with a few broken bones and my head is still spinning. after writing mom a letter and sending it home with child today, i hope mom will find her way down to the valley so that we can have a civil conversation tomorrow. in the meantime i will be at school fending off other angry parents who feel like their child is somehow entitled to the label "academically gifted." i will write more about them later. right now, i'm going to lay in my bed and try to heal.
Labels: parents, school counseling
